sword

Book V, Chapter 9: Strokes His Beard

(Legolas SINGS and Gimli STROKES his beard.)

Gimli: "This place needs some renovation work."

Legolas: "And gardens. Lots of gardens"


* * *


(Aragorn calls the Commanders TOGETHER, Legolas and Gimli MEET up with Pippin and Merry and they CHAT.)

Legolas: "Arrgh! Gulls!"

(Legolas TELLS them about how they GOT hold of the SHIPS and SINGS.)

* * *

Gandalf: "Denethor was wacked, but he was on to something. If Sauron gets hold of Frodo we're all screwed. Time to play bait."

Aragorn: "Sounds like a plan."

(They GATHER an army of 7000 and Aragorn swears he won't put his sword AWAY until the LAST battle.)

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Book IV, Chapter 5: Tucks Him Into Bed

(Frodo TELLS Faramir he's not hiding anything, but Faramir doesn't BELIEVE him and asks QUESTIONS about why he's hanging around Mordor. Drawing on past EXPERIENCE, Frodo refuses to give Faramir a STRAIGHT ANSWER. Instead, he TALKS about Aragorn and his SWORD and everyone is IMPRESSED. Except for Faramir, who isn't. Eventually, Frodo TELLS him a strategically ABRIDGED version of events and LEARNS that Boromir and Faramir were brothers. Then they TRUDGE to some CAVES for DINNER.)


* * *

(After DINNER and a quick LESSON in TABLE MANNERS, Frodo TELLS Faramir about his Boromir's part in the Company.)

Frodo: "Yeah, Boromir was a great bloke - liked a good skirmish."

Faramir: "Indeed! He was the most valiant of our people. There was no-one braver or more honourable."

Sam: "Yup. Except for that time when he tried to steal the One Ring from Frodo."

Frodo: "Sam, you're a prat."

Faramir: "The One Ring! Well, what a piece of luck! Never fear, though, I'm not much into the Dark Lord's jewellery - I don't want it. What are you going to do with it?"

Frodo: "Melt it."

(Frodo FAINTS, Faramir TUCKS him into BED and Sam SAYS that Faramir REMINDS him of a WIZARD [don't ask].)

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Book V, Chapter 1: Screwed Right Now

(Pippin and Gandalf RIDE very fast towards Minas Tirith and Gandalf SENDS Pippin to SLEEP with a very LONG-WINDED story about the CUSTOMS of Gondor. They MEET some soliders and Gandalf TELLS them not to bother REBUILDING the wall of Pelennor.)

Ingold: "But it'll be finished in a minute! What about the Riders of Rohan - are they going to grace us with their presence or not?"

Gandalf: "Thanks to me they are - if I hadn't rescued them from certain death, then you'd be screwed right now. I'm going - and no nodding off, you hear?"

* * *

(They REACH Minas Tirith; Pippin is AWED by the city, NO-ONE thinks that SEEING Gandalf is a GOOD thing and Gandalf TELLS Pippin not to mention ANYTHING about the RING to Denethor (The Steward of Gondor). And to keep quiet about Aragorn, because he knows that EVERYONE will be IMPRESSED. Except for Denethor, who won't be.)


* * *

Gandalf: "Hi, Denethor, how's it going?"

Denethor: "Terrible. Where's the person who saw Boromir die? Oh I wish I'd sent Faramir instead!"

(Pippin offers Denethor his SWORD as PAYMENT for Boromir's death.)

Denethor: "Wow! You may be short but you've some got manners - even if you have got a wierd accent! I like you, little man!"

(EGGED on by Gandalf, Pippin swears LOYALTY to Gondor, becomes a soldier, and TELLS Denethor about Boromir's death.)

Denethor: "I rule Gondor! Unless the King turns up, that is."

Gandalf: "Just in case he does, you'd better make sure that there's some kingdom left, eh?"

* * *

(Pippin meets Beregond (a GUARD) who TELLS him some PASSWORDS and about the CUSTOMS of Gondor.)

Beregond: "Wow! You've got some manners - even if you have got a wierd accent!"

* * *

(They visit Shadowfax and Pippin gets treated like a PRINCE. Beregond TELLS Pippin to FIND his son (Bergil) and WATCH the Gate closing. A lot of allies ARRIVE but not as many as HOPED for.)

Gandalf: "We're all going to die."

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Book III, Chapter 6: And Galdalf Sings

Rider of Rohan: "By the way, we've become very xenophobic recently - hey, are those our horses?"

Aragorn: "Yup."

* * *

(Later, the DOORMAN (Háma) wants to take their WEAPONS; Aragorn doesn't want to give up his SWORD and Gandalf wants to keep his STAFF. Finally, Aragorn gives in and Háma takes the OPPORTUNITY to share a PROVERB. Gandalf gets to keep his STAFF. Théoden doesn't look too HOT [don't ask].)

Gandalf: "I'm back!"

Théoden: "Do I look happy to see you?"

(Wormtongue says that Théoden’s son is DEAD and that Éomer can't be TRUSTED. He and Gandalf take the OPPORTUNITY to swap PROVERBS and Gandalf SINGS.)

Gandalf: "You gonna listen to me now?"

Théoden: "Sure."

(Éowyn arrives, SAYS and DOES nothing and is QUICKLY sent away again by Gandalf. Éomer is RELEASED from prison, Théoden is FILLED IN in on recent EVENTS and LEARNS that Wormtongue is a TRAITOR. Éowyn is SMITTEN with Aragorn and Théoden can't THINK of anyone to RULE Rohan for a bit until Háma remembers and suggests Éowyn. Everyone else RIDES out towards Isengard.)

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Book II, Chapter 3: He Takes Full Advantage

(Elrond FORMS the Company of the RING; Aragorn SAYS he's COMING too and Frodo is overly EXCITED by the NEWS [don't ask].)

Aragorn: "Boromir's also coming. He's cool."

(Merry and Pippin also TAG along. Aragorn gets a nice new SWORD; Frodo gets STING and a MITHRIL shirt. Before they LEAVE Rivendell, Elrond and Gimli take the OPPORTUNITY to swap PROVERBS. On the way, they use a lot of DWARVEN place names and Aragorn gets PARANOID. Eventually, they TRUDGE up a large MOUNTAIN and get STUCK in a snowstorm, which gives Legolas the chance to SHOW-OFF. He takes full ADVANTAGE and then RUBS it in. The Company TRUDGE back down the MOUNTAIN.)
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