freaked out

Book V, Chapter 10: The Two Rodents

(Everyone TRUDGES to MORDOR. Except for Merry, who doesn't. Their TRIP is oddly QUIET and the army is FREAKED OUT. Aragorn uses emotional BLACKMAIL to persuade them to continue. Then they reach the Black Gate of Mordor.)

Aragorn: "Oi, Sauron, come out and fight, if you think you're hard enough!"

Mouth of Sauron: "Thanks for the two rodents you sent us. Give up or we'll torture them for eternity!"

Gandalf: "Take a hike."

(The Gate OPENS and the HOSTS of MORDOR surround them. The sun goes down, the NAZGÛL show up and the gang know they are going to lose SPECTACULARLY. Beregond is KNOCKED down by a troll-chief who Pippin STABS. Pippin is about to FAINT after nearly being SQUASHED by the troll-chief when he hears people SHOUTING something about Eagles. He FAINTS.)
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Book IV, Chapter 8: A Post-Modernist Moment

(They reach Cirith Ungol; Frodo NOTICES the RING is very, very HEAVY, and it starts to POSSESS him. Luckily, he RESISTS and everyone gets FREAKED OUT by the massive army led by the LORD OF THE NAZGÛL.)

Frodo: "Oh, that's all I needed - wonderful. We're all going to die."

* * *

(They CLIMB a Straight Stair and a Winding Stair, Frodo and Sam have a POST-MODERNIST moment and QUESTION Gollum's MOTIVES.)


* * *

Frodo: "So, this is were you get off, Smeagol. See you round."

Gollum: "You sstill need me to lead you through the tunnel, tee hee! Come on!"

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