unable

Book VI, Chapter 3: I Won't Melt

(Frodo and Sam TRUDGE towards MOUNT DOOM. Then they TRUDGE some more. Sam ARGUES with himself because no-one else will LISTEN, realises they actually are going to DIE and gives Frodo a PIGGY-BACK ride up the volcano. Gollum ATTACKS them, Frodo reaches the CRACKS OF DOOM and Sauron starts to get a BAD feeling.)

Sauron: "Right under my flaming nose!"

(Frodo is POSSESSED by the RING and, putting it on, is UNABLE to shake it off [sic].)

Frodo: "Actually, thinking about it, maybe I won't melt nice shiny Ring...."

(Then Gollum turns up and unwittingly SAVES the day by BITING off Frodo's FINGER. He JUMPS for JOY, trips, and PLUNGES to a FIERY death in the FIRES below. The RING accompanies him. R.I.P. Gollum. R.I.P. Frodo's finger. R.I.P. The RING.)

Sam: "Ouch, that's got to hurt."

Frodo: "Whatever. Time to die."

(Sam is oddly HAPPY about their IMPENDING deaths.)
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Book IV, Chapter 6: Give Frodo A

Faramir: "So, the odd looking creature down there - kill it, yay or nay?"

Frodo: "No!"

Gollum: "Fissh!"

Frodo: "Nice Sméagol, come here or I'll curse you..."

Gollum: "Coming!"

* * *

(Faramir gives Frodo FREE reign through Gondor for a year and TELLS him not to TRUST Gollum.)

Faramir: "You must not go to Cirith Ungol."

Frodo: "Why not?"

(Faramir is UNABLE to give Frodo a STRAIGHT ANSWER and SAYS that Gollum is EVIL.)

Frodo: "Whatever."

Faramir: "Have some food before you leave. If you survive this little escapade then we'll have a chat about it then. Bye!"

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Book I, Chapter 12: Oooh, That's Not Good

Frodo: "What the hell happened?"

(Everyone is UNABLE to give Frodo a STRAIGHT ANSWER. Next day Strider finds the BLACK RIDER'S knife and the BLADE disappears in a PUFF of SMOKE [don't ask].)

Strider: "Oooh, that's not good."


* * *

(They TRUDGE towards Rivendell, Frodo has lots of NIGHTMARES and Sam WHINES.)


* * *

Pippin: "Arrgh! Trolls!"

Strider: "Idiot:

  • Family history;
  • Broad daylight;
  • Made of stone;
  • Bird's nest behind ear."
(Sam SINGS and they TRUDGE on.)


* * *

Strider: "Glorfindel!"

(They put Frodo on Glorfindel's horse and get AMBUSHED by the BLACK RIDERS. Glorfindel's horse ESCAPES and the BLACK RIDERS are WASHED away by the RIVER. Frodo FAINTS.)

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