(Saruman has indeed taken over the Shire. Merry and Pippin, instead of resorting to their usual DEFAULT state of being EFFECTIVELY INEFFECTIVE, spontaneously become BRILLIANT tacticians and lead an ASSAULT on Saruman's Men. They KILL a bunch of them. Sam LEARNS that Rosie is SMITTEN with him. Saruman is in the middle of GLOATING when the terminally deranged Wormtongue KILLS him. The Hobbits, never keen to MISS an opportunity, then KILL Wormtongue.)
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Tags: killing, learning, smitten, opportunity

(Faramir, Éowyn and Merry all END up in the Houses of the Healing and everyone thinks they are BEYOND help. Except for Ioreth, who doesn't. Instead, she takes the opportunity to share a PROVERB.)

Aragorn: "Athelas, a.k.a. kingsfoil, now."

Ioreth: "I always thought that was a weird name for a weed. Even if it does smell nice."

Aragorn: "Idiot:

• Not interested;
• Lives at stake;
• You talk too much."

(Aragorn TRUDGES through the City HEALING everyone he can LAY his HANDS on.)
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Tags: opportunity, proverbs, trudging

(Sam EVENTUALLY picks himself up off the FLOOR, finds another WAY into the tower and discovers a LOT of DEAD Orcs. The RING starts to POSSESS him but he RESISTS it in the followsing manner:)

Sam: "Possession? Ha! I laugh in the face of possession!"

(He uses Galadrial's PRESENT to get past the stone WATCHERS at the door. He searches some MORE, SINGS and finds Frodo BUTT naked and being WHIPPED [don't ask] by an Orc called Snaga. This decidedly NARKS Sam off. R.I.P. Snaga.)

Frodo: "Oooh, what happened?"

Sam: "Don't ask."

(Sam thus takes the opportunity of not giving Frodo a STRIAGHT ANSWER. Frodo WHINES about losing the RING. Sam CASUALLY explains that he has the RING. Frodo takes the opportunity to INSULT him, then unconvincingly BLAMES it on the RING and they DECK themselves out in Orc gear.)

Sam: "We've got to get out of here!"

Frodo: "Never mind that, we need food."

(They EAT and use Galadrial's PRESENT again. A BLACK RIDER turns up and does NOTHING.)
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Tags: dead, ring, presents, singing, don't ask, narked off, straight answer, opportunity, whining, insults, black rider, eating

(Merry is LONELY and the Wild Men OFFER to lead the Riders to Minas Tirith by the only UNOCCUPIED road left. They FIND out that the MESSENGERS they sent to Gondor are DEAD and Théoden is WORRIED that Denethor will not know they're COMING, but Éomer takes the opportunity to CONSOLE him with a PROVERB. They arrive just in TIME to see the Gate give way; Merry QUESTIONS the wisdom of coming after all, Théoden URGES his men on with a SONG and then the REST of the Riders SING as they FIGHT.)
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Tags: lonely, dead, worried, opportunity, proverbs, singing, fighting

Pippin: "Why can't I have nice, shiny crystal ball?"

(Merry explains why, taking the OPPORTUNITY to share a PROVERB. Pippin STEALS the Palantir from Gandalf and has a NASTY experience with one of the BLACK RIDERS/NAZGÛL [don't ask].)

Gandalf: "You're a real prat, do you know that?"

* * *

Aragorn: "Oi, that Palantir is a family heirloom! Give it here!"

Gandalf: "Sure. But don't be to eager to use it!"

Aragorn: "Who? Moi?"

(Gandalf takes the OPPORTUNITY to shares a PROVERB with Aragorn; Théoden DECIDES to RIDE back to Helm's Deep with Éomer, LEAVING the majority of the Riders at Aragorn''s DISPOSAL.)

* * *

Gandalf: "Arrgh! Nazgûl/Black Riders!"

(Gandalf RIDES off with Pippin and Merry WHINES about being left BEHIND.)

Aragorn: "Idiot."

* * *

(Gandalf BRAGS about his horse (Shadowfax), SINGS and goes off on a very LONG -WINDED explanation about the Palantir. Pippin is SURPRISED to find out that they are going to Minas Tirith, not Helm's Deep, and Shadowfax SPRINGS forward with FIRE flying from his FEET [definitely don't ask].)

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Tags: opportunity, proverbs, black rider, prat, decision, leaving, whining, singing, long-winded, surprise, don't ask

Rider of Rohan: "By the way, we've become very xenophobic recently - hey, are those our horses?"

Aragorn: "Yup."

* * *

(Later, the DOORMAN (Háma) wants to take their WEAPONS; Aragorn doesn't want to give up his SWORD and Gandalf wants to keep his STAFF. Finally, Aragorn gives in and Háma takes the OPPORTUNITY to share a PROVERB. Gandalf gets to keep his STAFF. Théoden doesn't look too HOT [don't ask].)

Gandalf: "I'm back!"

Théoden: "Do I look happy to see you?"

(Wormtongue says that Théoden’s son is DEAD and that Éomer can't be TRUSTED. He and Gandalf take the OPPORTUNITY to swap PROVERBS and Gandalf SINGS.)

Gandalf: "You gonna listen to me now?"

Théoden: "Sure."

(Éowyn arrives, SAYS and DOES nothing and is QUICKLY sent away again by Gandalf. Éomer is RELEASED from prison, Théoden is FILLED IN in on recent EVENTS and LEARNS that Wormtongue is a TRAITOR. Éowyn is SMITTEN with Aragorn and Théoden can't THINK of anyone to RULE Rohan for a bit until Háma remembers and suggests Éowyn. Everyone else RIDES out towards Isengard.)

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Tags: sword, opportunity, proverbs, staff, don't ask, dead, trust, singing, learning, traitor, smitten

(There is a big ARGUMENT about whether they should go through the mines of MORIA. They DECIDE to do so and Aragorn and Boromir take the OPPORTUNITY to swap PROVERBS. Later, a PACK of WARGS attack and the gang kill a BUNCH of them.)

* * *

Gandalf: "Moria!"

(Legolas and Gimli BICKER about whose RACE fell out with whose FIRST. They find the DOOR but Gandalf can't OPEN it.)

Boromir: "You're not a very good wizard, are you?"

Gandalf: "Boromir, don't be a prat."

* * *

(Finally, the DOOR opens, Frodo is attacked by the WATCHER, they RUN inside the MINES and it closes the DOOR.)

Gandalf: "There go our options."

(They TRUDGE through MORIA, Sam WHINES about Bill (his PONY) a lot and they LEARN that Gimli's cousin is DEAD.)

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Tags: argument, decision, opportunity, proverbs, pack, bunch, bickering, trudging, pony, learning, dead

(Elrond FORMS the Company of the RING; Aragorn SAYS he's COMING too and Frodo is overly EXCITED by the NEWS [don't ask].)

Aragorn: "Boromir's also coming. He's cool."

(Merry and Pippin also TAG along. Aragorn gets a nice new SWORD; Frodo gets STING and a MITHRIL shirt. Before they LEAVE Rivendell, Elrond and Gimli take the OPPORTUNITY to swap PROVERBS. On the way, they use a lot of DWARVEN place names and Aragorn gets PARANOID. Eventually, they TRUDGE up a large MOUNTAIN and get STUCK in a snowstorm, which gives Legolas the chance to SHOW-OFF. He takes full ADVANTAGE and then RUBS it in. The Company TRUDGE back down the MOUNTAIN.)
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Tags: formation, ring, excited, don't ask, tag, sword, leaving, opportunity, proverbs, paranoia, trudging, showing-off, stuck