alive

Book V, Chapter 5: A Walking Cloud

(Pippin FINDS out that he is pretty much ornamental, gets DECKED out in the ARMOUR of the Tower Guard and is given a TEMPORARY job as Denethor's esquire, but becomes WORRIED when he is TOLD that one of his DUTIES is to SING. Gandalf RESCUES Faramir from the BLACK RIDERS and everyone is HAPPY to see Faramir ALIVE. Except for Denethor, who isn't.)

Faramir: "I say, last time I was here there weren't any Hobbits in the Tower Guard."

Gandalf: "New ornament."

(Gandalf is WORRIED that Frodo went to Cirith Ungol and Denethor WHINES about Faramir being ALIVE rather than Boromir.)

Faramir: "Hey, you sent him on that mission."

Denethor: "I wish I hadn't. You're useless - at least Boromir would have bought me a nice shiny Ring."

Gandalf: "Don't be a prat."

* * *

(Everyone feels SORRY for Faramir but no-one COMPLAINS when he gets sent to the FRONT (the Fields of Pelennor). NEWS arrives that Faramir is FIGHTING a lost CAUSE because the Lord of the NAZGÛL is on a ROLL and Gandalf RIDES off to HELP Faramir. It doesn't do much GOOD and the Men of Gondor get their ARSES KICKED. Faramir is INJURED and more of the MORDOR army turns up.)

Gandalf: "There's no way the Riders of Rohan can help now. We've had it."

* * *


(The army of MORDOR catapult DEAD-HEADS into the first circle of the City; Denethor is a walking CLOUD of DEPRESSION and REFUSES to leave his SON'S room. He DECIDES to KILL himself and Faramir but Pippin shows some INITIATIVE and RUNS off to FIND Gandalf. The Enemy BUSTS through the Gate and the Lord of the NAZGÛL gloats.)

Lord of the Nazgûl: "Ha ha, I win, you lose! Tee hee!"

(Gandalf is talking TOUGH when the Riders of Rohan FINALLY arrive.)

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Book III, Chapter 5: I Got This New Outfit

(Aragorn and the others find EVIDENCE that Merry and Pippin are still ALIVE and head into FANGORN.)


* * *

Legolas: "The Old Man!"

Gimli: "Arrgh!"

Old Man: "How's it hangin'?"

Aragorn: "We're kinda busy so if you don't mind..."

(Gimli tries to ATTACK the OLD man, but it turns out to be GANDALF and they are all jolly HAPPY.)

Gandalf: "My fight with the Balrog took a long time and it hurt. But I got this new outfit, so it wasn't a total loss. Galadriel sends messages:

  • Aragorn: Get the Rangers together and go to war.
  • Legolas: Avoid the Sea.
  • Gimli: Hi."
(The horses REAPPEAR and they ride to EDORAS.)
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