Book II, Chapter 2: We'd Rather Just Have Your Sword

(The Council of Elrond is CALLED. The only NEW people of LONG-STANDING importance are:
  • Gimli (DWARF)
  • Legolas (ELF)
  • Boromir (HUMAN)
Frodo LEARNS that Elrond is very OLD, that Isildur was a PRAT and Strider is a KING. Called Aragorn.)

* * *

Strider / Aragorn: "So, you want me to come and rule Gondor?"

Boromir: "We'd rather just have your sword."

Aragorn / Strider: "Tough."

* * *

(There is more DISCUSSION and Gandalf SPEAKS the language of MORDOR, much to everyone's ANNOYANCE. Frodo also LEARNS that the Elves of Mirkwood are USELESS.)

* * *

Gandalf: "Saruman is evil; he kidnapped me but I was rescued by an Eagle."

(Boromir wants to use the RING but is told "No!". NO-ONE wants to go to MORDOR; Frodo VOLUNTEERS and the rest of the COUNCIL heave a sigh of RELIEF. Sam INSISTS on GOING and Elrond makes a SARCASTIC comment. Sam GRUMBLES.)

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Book I, Chapter 1: Always Knew He Was Wacked

Hobbits: "That Bilbo Baggins is a freak; we only put up with him 'cuz he's rich."

* * *

Gandalf: "Nice garden."

Bilbo: "Thanks. First I'm gonna have a party and then I'm outta here."

(At the PARTY, Bilbo gives a SPEECH insulting everyone. But they're too STUPID to realise.)

Bilbo: "Adios."

(He puts on the RING and VANISHES.)

Rory Brandybuck: "Always knew he was wacked."

* * *

Gandalf: "Give that ring to Frodo."

Bilbo: "No! It's mine!"

(He leaves the RING to Frodo anyway.)

* * *

Frodo: "A ring! Cool!"

Gandalf: "I've been thinking: it could be dangerous."

Frodo: "I don't get it."

Gandalf: "Me neither. I'm off to find out more; don't wait up."

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