kidnapping

Appendix A-I-i: Númenor

(Feanor (Eldar [= Elf]) MAKES three Silmarilli; they are like LIGHT-BULBS. Morgoth KIDNAPS them and HIDES them in his FORTRESS on Middle-earth. Feanor and the Eldar try to RESCUE them; they meet the Edain (Men) and become best BUDDIES. They lose to Morgoth SPECTACULARLY.

Six of the Eldar and the Edain get HITCHED over the years:
  • Lúthien Tinúviel and Beren
  • Idril and Tuor
  • Arwen and Aragorn.
They all become very interbred but it breaks down like this:
  • Lúthien (Eldar [= Elf]) and Beren (Edain [= Man]) have a SON, Dior and a DAUGHTER, Elwing.
  • Idril (Eldar [= Elf]) and Tuor (Edain [= Man]) have a SON, Eärendil.
  • Eärendil gets HITCHED to Elwing and OVERTHROWS Morgoth. They have two SONS, Elros and Elrond.)
Tolkien (aside): "If you really want to know what happens to the Silmarilli, read The Silmarillion."

(The Edain get their own PAD called Númenor; they live for a LONG time, but want MORE. Some KING or other with an UNPRONOUNCEABLE name tries to DEFEAT Sauron, who PLAYS up to the KING'S ego and turns the Númenoreans EVIL. R.I.P. Númenor. Elendil and his SONS, Isildur and Anárion, are really the only ones of IMPORTANCE in later Númenorean HISTORY. They LAND on Middle-earth and set up Arnor and Gondor. Elendil RULES the North, while his SONS RULE the South: they build a few CITIES bordering MORDOR and BELIEVE Sauron has SNUFFED it. They are WRONG. In the following war, the Last Alliance KICKS Sauron's ARSE and Isidur takes the One RING. R.I.P. the Second Age.)
<< Previous << | >> Next >>

Book III, Chapter 1: Like A Pin-Cushion

(They are AMBUSHED by Orcs, who KIDNAP Merry and Pippin. Aragorn HEARS the Horn of Gondor and FINDS Boromir looking like a PIN-CUSHION [don't ask]. He promises to RESCUE Minas Tirith; Boromir DIES and Aragorn WHINES.)

Legolas: "Ooops."

(They send Boromir's BODY downstream in a BOAT and Legolas and Aragorn take turns SINGING. After some SOUL-SEARCHING they follow the Orcs and Aragorn SPRINGS forward like a DEER [definitely don't ask].)
<< Previous << | >> Next >>

Book I, Chapter 8: What Happened To My Clothes?

(There is FOG on the Barrow Downs and a Barrow-wight KIDNAPS them. Bombadil RESCUES them.)

Merry: "What happened to my clothes?"

Tom Bombadil: "They're gone. Have these instead, then head out to Bree."

(He also gives them PONIES and KNIVES. They leave.)
<< Previous << | >> Next >>