ambushed

Book III, Chapter 2: Bicker Amongst Themselves

(Merry and Pippin RUN a lot with a bunch of Orcs from MORDOR and Saruman's Uruk-hai from ISENGARD, who BICKER amongst themselves and get AMBUSHED by the Riders of Rohan. Merry and Pippin ESCAPE into FANGORN FOREST and all the Orcs DIE.)
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Book III, Chapter 1: Like A Pin-Cushion

(They are AMBUSHED by Orcs, who KIDNAP Merry and Pippin. Aragorn HEARS the Horn of Gondor and FINDS Boromir looking like a PIN-CUSHION [don't ask]. He promises to RESCUE Minas Tirith; Boromir DIES and Aragorn WHINES.)

Legolas: "Ooops."

(They send Boromir's BODY downstream in a BOAT and Legolas and Aragorn take turns SINGING. After some SOUL-SEARCHING they follow the Orcs and Aragorn SPRINGS forward like a DEER [definitely don't ask].)
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Book II, Chapter 9: Really Begins To Lose It

(The Company FLOAT along the Anduin for DAYS; Gollum FOLLOWS them and Boromir really begins to LOSE it in a BIG way. Orcs AMBUSH them, but do no DAMAGE. Aragorn keeps looking KINGLY and everyone is IMPRESSED. Except for Boromir, who isn't.)
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Book II, Chapter 5: Ambushed… Skewered… Dies…

Gandalf: "...So, basically, Orcs came in and slaughtered everyone."

(They are AMBUSHED by Orcs and Frodo is nearly SKEWERED.)

Frodo: "I'm okay."

Aragorn: "I thought you'd kicked it!"

Gandalf: "Me too!"

Frodo: "Whatever."


* * *

(Then the Balrog ATTACKS them; Gandalf DIES and Aragorn gets to play LEADER. They RUN outside, KILL some more Orcs and CRY.)

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Book I, Chapter 12: Oooh, That's Not Good

Frodo: "What the hell happened?"

(Everyone is UNABLE to give Frodo a STRAIGHT ANSWER. Next day Strider finds the BLACK RIDER'S knife and the BLADE disappears in a PUFF of SMOKE [don't ask].)

Strider: "Oooh, that's not good."


* * *

(They TRUDGE towards Rivendell, Frodo has lots of NIGHTMARES and Sam WHINES.)


* * *

Pippin: "Arrgh! Trolls!"

Strider: "Idiot:

  • Family history;
  • Broad daylight;
  • Made of stone;
  • Bird's nest behind ear."
(Sam SINGS and they TRUDGE on.)


* * *

Strider: "Glorfindel!"

(They put Frodo on Glorfindel's horse and get AMBUSHED by the BLACK RIDERS. Glorfindel's horse ESCAPES and the BLACK RIDERS are WASHED away by the RIVER. Frodo FAINTS.)

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