escape

Book VI, Chapter 2: All Looking Pretty

(They ESCAPE Cirith Ungol, OBSESS about water and Frodo notices the RING is very, very, very HEAVY. They figure out that the War isn't going so well for Sauron, but are WORRIED when they see a HUGE army of Orcs and Men in the DISTANCE.)

Sam: "We're screwed."

Frodo: "Whatever."

(They listen to an ARGUMENT between two orcs and LEARN the Gollum is HANGING around. They TRUDGE along, get MISTAKEN for orcs and are forced to MARCH to Udûn. It's all looking pretty GRIM for the Hobbits but LOTS of Orc companies RUN into each other and so they ESCAPE in the CONFUSION. Frodo FAINTS.)
<< Previous << | >> Next >>

Book IV, Chapter 10: Renders Himself

(Frodo isn't looking too HOT; Sam ATTACKS the spider (Shelob) and STABS it (her) in the STOMACH. It (she) runs OFF. Finally, it DAWNS on Sam that Frodo is DEAD.)

Sam: "Ooops. Now what?"

(Sam DECIDES to take the RING, Sting and Galadrial's PRESENT and carry on. He doesn't get very FAR and puts on the RING to ESCAPE the Orcs patrolling the area.)

Orcs: "A body! And a really gooey mess!"

Shagrat: "Strip him and send word to Lugburz." (a.k.a. Barad-Dûr, a.k.a. Sauron's Place)

Gorbag: "What's the point? He's kicked it."

Shagrat: "You're a real prat, you know that? He's not dead."

Sam: "Uh-oh..."

(The Orcs put Frodo in the TOP of the TOWER and Sam RENDERS himself unconscious by jumping WILDLY at the door [please don't ask].)
<< Previous << | >> Next >>

Book IV, Chapter 9: Smelly Tunnel

(Gollum LEADS them into an incredibly SMELLY tunnel and ABANDONS them. They get ATTACKED by a very BIG spider.)

Sam: "Arrgh!"

(They ESCAPE thanks to the PRESENT that Galadrial gave to Frodo, but now the spider is really ANNOYED and comes after them. Gollum TRIES to STRANGLE Sam, but ends up running AWAY with a rather NASTY back injury [don't ask].)
<< Previous << | >> Next >>

Book IV, Chapter 1: Slobbers Over Frodo

(Frodo and Sam are STUCK in the CLIFFS of the Emyn Muil. On the horizon, MORDOR glows red and looks very THREATENING.)

Sam: "Join the Company they said, see the world they said... Eek! That bog smells!"

Frodo: "Whatever."

(Frodo WHINES about going to MORDOR and Sam WHINES about only having lembas to EAT. They attempt to CLIMB down the CLIFF, see a BLACK RIDER and finally get down the CLIFF, thanks to Sam's ROPE - which, it turns out, is MAGICAL and COMES when Sam CALLS it.)


* * *

Gollum: "Where'ss my Preciouss?" [Repeat many times for full effect - double 's' vital.]

(Sam JUMPS on him, nearly gets STRANGLED and Frodo THEATENS to cut Gollum's THROAT.)

Gollum: "I'm jusst lonely!"

Frodo: "Whatever. Take us to Mordor or die!"

Gollum: "Arrgh! No! No!"

(He AGREES to take them anyway - after STAGING a small ESCAPE attempt. Gollum PROMISES not to try anything again, SLOBBERS over Frodo and they TRUDGE towards MORDOR.)

<< Previous << | >> Next >>

Book III, Chapter 2: Bicker Amongst Themselves

(Merry and Pippin RUN a lot with a bunch of Orcs from MORDOR and Saruman's Uruk-hai from ISENGARD, who BICKER amongst themselves and get AMBUSHED by the Riders of Rohan. Merry and Pippin ESCAPE into FANGORN FOREST and all the Orcs DIE.)
<< Previous << | >> Next >>

Book I, Chapter 12: Oooh, That's Not Good

Frodo: "What the hell happened?"

(Everyone is UNABLE to give Frodo a STRAIGHT ANSWER. Next day Strider finds the BLACK RIDER'S knife and the BLADE disappears in a PUFF of SMOKE [don't ask].)

Strider: "Oooh, that's not good."


* * *

(They TRUDGE towards Rivendell, Frodo has lots of NIGHTMARES and Sam WHINES.)


* * *

Pippin: "Arrgh! Trolls!"

Strider: "Idiot:

  • Family history;
  • Broad daylight;
  • Made of stone;
  • Bird's nest behind ear."
(Sam SINGS and they TRUDGE on.)


* * *

Strider: "Glorfindel!"

(They put Frodo on Glorfindel's horse and get AMBUSHED by the BLACK RIDERS. Glorfindel's horse ESCAPES and the BLACK RIDERS are WASHED away by the RIVER. Frodo FAINTS.)

<< Previous << | >> Next >>