(Aragorn's FATHER, Arathorn, dies YOUNG(ISH) so his MOTHER, Gilraen, MOVES IN with Elrond. Who LOVES Aragorn like a SON, calls him Estel but doesn't TELL him that he is rightful King of Gondor. Elrond TELLS him all this when he is TWENTY and has been on a WORLD TOUR with Elrond's SONS.)

Elrond: "Have this ring and the Shards of Narsil. You're going to live for a long time, unless you get killed sooner. You can't have the Sceptre of Annuminas yet because you're not old enough."

* * *

(The next DAY, Aragorn goes for a WALK, SINGS and thinks he's seen a LEGENDARY Elf-maiden - but actually it's only Elrond's DAUGHTER, Arwen.)

Aragorn: "Daughter, huh? Where's he been keeping you?"

Arwen: "Lothlórien."

(Aragorn is PUT OUT that she's OLDER than him, but FALLS in LOVE anyway.)

* * *

Gilraen: "Stop pinning for Arwen - you haven't got a hope."

Aragorn: "It's not fair!"

Elrond: "Aragorn, give it up. Not only are you going to be in big trouble when you get older, but Arwen is too good for you and she knows it. Anyway, I'm leaving Middle-earth soon and she's coming with me."

Aragorn: "Damn."

* * *

(Aragorn TRUDGES into the wild, FIGHTS Sauron, MEETS Gandalf and becomes UGLY [don't ask]. Eventually, he goes to Lothlórien and gets DRESSED up; Arwen is SMITTEN and BINDS herself [not literally] to him, resolving to get HITCHED at some point in the DISTANT future. Elrond FINDS out and is very ANNOYED.)

Elrond: "No way - not unless you're King of Gondor and Arnor."

* * *

(Aragorn TRUDGES off once more and his MOTHER dies. The War of the RING occurs, Aragorn WINS the Battle of the Fields of Pelennor and becomes KING of Gondor and Arnor. When the RING is DESTROYED Elrond LEAVES and Arwen hangs around as QUEEN of Gondor for 60 YEARS. Aragorn eventually KICKS it, after handing Gondor and Arnor over to his SON, Eldarion. Arwen GRIEVES, goes to Lothlórien for the WINTER but no-one's HOME, so she DIES.)

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Tags: king, singing, trudging, fighting, don't ask, smitten, marriage, annoyance, ring, leaving, dead

(Saruman has indeed taken over the Shire. Merry and Pippin, instead of resorting to their usual DEFAULT state of being EFFECTIVELY INEFFECTIVE, spontaneously become BRILLIANT tacticians and lead an ASSAULT on Saruman's Men. They KILL a bunch of them. Sam LEARNS that Rosie is SMITTEN with him. Saruman is in the middle of GLOATING when the terminally deranged Wormtongue KILLS him. The Hobbits, never keen to MISS an opportunity, then KILL Wormtongue.)
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Tags: killing, learning, smitten, opportunity

(Aragorn, Théoden, Legolas, Gimli, Merry and the Riders of Rohan RIDE towards EDORAS and meet the Rangers. Arwen sends Aragorn a PRESENT, Legolas looks TROUBLED, and Merry swears LOYALTY to Théoden and becomes an esquire. Aragorn SURPRISES everyone by ANNOUNCING that he's going to Gondor by the Paths of the Dead; Gimli SCOLDES him for using the Palantir and contacting Sauron but Aragorn SAYS he acted ROYALLY and everyone is IMPRESSED. Except for Sauron, who probably wasn't.)

* * *

(Due to being SMITTEN with Aragorn, Éowyn visits him in the NIGHT [don't ask].)

Éowyn: "Will you take me with you?"

Aragorn: "Nope."

* * *

(Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas and the Rangers (The Grey Company) TRUDGE through the Paths of the Dead; Gimli GRUMBLES about being SCARED and Legolas TALKS to the horses. The Company LEAVES the Paths of the Dead, but are FOLLOWED by some dead warriors [don't ask].)

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Tags: presents, troubled, loyalty, surprise, kingly, impressed, smitten, don't ask, trudging, scarded, leaving, dead

Rider of Rohan: "By the way, we've become very xenophobic recently - hey, are those our horses?"

Aragorn: "Yup."

* * *

(Later, the DOORMAN (Háma) wants to take their WEAPONS; Aragorn doesn't want to give up his SWORD and Gandalf wants to keep his STAFF. Finally, Aragorn gives in and Háma takes the OPPORTUNITY to share a PROVERB. Gandalf gets to keep his STAFF. Théoden doesn't look too HOT [don't ask].)

Gandalf: "I'm back!"

Théoden: "Do I look happy to see you?"

(Wormtongue says that Théoden’s son is DEAD and that Éomer can't be TRUSTED. He and Gandalf take the OPPORTUNITY to swap PROVERBS and Gandalf SINGS.)

Gandalf: "You gonna listen to me now?"

Théoden: "Sure."

(Éowyn arrives, SAYS and DOES nothing and is QUICKLY sent away again by Gandalf. Éomer is RELEASED from prison, Théoden is FILLED IN in on recent EVENTS and LEARNS that Wormtongue is a TRAITOR. Éowyn is SMITTEN with Aragorn and Théoden can't THINK of anyone to RULE Rohan for a bit until Háma remembers and suggests Éowyn. Everyone else RIDES out towards Isengard.)

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Tags: sword, opportunity, proverbs, staff, don't ask, dead, trust, singing, learning, traitor, smitten

(Frodo becomes SMITTEN with Goldberry and SINGS, as does Bombadil. Everyone has NIGHTMARES. Except Sam, who doesn't. Next day it RAINS a lot. After dinner, Bombadil takes the RING but isn't AFFECTED by it. Frodo suspects DECEIT, puts the RING on and VANISHES.)

Tom Bombadil: "Frodo, don't be a prat."

(Frodo takes the RING off, grins SHEEPISHLY and then Bombadil SINGS some more.)
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Tags: smitten, singing, nightmares, raining, ring, unaffected, deceit, ring, vanishing, prat