Book VI, Chapter 2: All Looking Pretty
Sam: "We're screwed."
Frodo: "Whatever."
(They listen to an ARGUMENT between two orcs and LEARN the Gollum is HANGING around. They TRUDGE along, get MISTAKEN for orcs and are forced to MARCH to Udûn. It's all looking pretty GRIM for the Hobbits but LOTS of Orc companies RUN into each other and so they ESCAPE in the CONFUSION. Frodo FAINTS.)
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Book IV, Chapter 10: Renders Himself
Sam: "Ooops. Now what?"
(Sam DECIDES to take the RING, Sting and Galadrial's PRESENT and carry on. He doesn't get very FAR and puts on the RING to ESCAPE the Orcs patrolling the area.)
Orcs: "A body! And a really gooey mess!"
Shagrat: "Strip him and send word to Lugburz." (a.k.a. Barad-Dûr, a.k.a. Sauron's Place)
Gorbag: "What's the point? He's kicked it."
Shagrat: "You're a real prat, you know that? He's not dead."
Sam: "Uh-oh..."
(The Orcs put Frodo in the TOP of the TOWER and Sam RENDERS himself unconscious by jumping WILDLY at the door [please don't ask].)
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Book IV, Chapter 9: Smelly Tunnel
Sam: "Arrgh!"
(They ESCAPE thanks to the PRESENT that Galadrial gave to Frodo, but now the spider is really ANNOYED and comes after them. Gollum TRIES to STRANGLE Sam, but ends up running AWAY with a rather NASTY back injury [don't ask].)
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Book IV, Chapter 1: Slobbers Over Frodo
Sam: "Join the Company they said, see the world they said... Eek! That bog smells!"
Frodo: "Whatever."
(Frodo WHINES about going to MORDOR and Sam WHINES about only having lembas to EAT. They attempt to CLIMB down the CLIFF, see a BLACK RIDER and finally get down the CLIFF, thanks to Sam's ROPE - which, it turns out, is MAGICAL and COMES when Sam CALLS it.)
* * *
Gollum: "Where'ss my Preciouss?"
[Repeat many times for full effect - double 's'
vital.]
(Sam JUMPS on him, nearly gets STRANGLED and
Frodo THEATENS to cut Gollum's THROAT.)
Gollum: "I'm jusst lonely!"
Frodo: "Whatever. Take us to
Mordor or die!"
Gollum: "Arrgh! No! No!"
(He AGREES to take them anyway - after
STAGING a small ESCAPE attempt. Gollum PROMISES
not to try anything again, SLOBBERS over Frodo
and they TRUDGE towards MORDOR.)
Book III, Chapter 2: Bicker Amongst Themselves
Book I, Chapter 12: Oooh, That's Not Good
(Everyone is UNABLE to give Frodo a STRAIGHT ANSWER. Next day Strider finds the BLACK RIDER'S knife and the BLADE disappears in a PUFF of SMOKE [don't ask].)
Strider: "Oooh, that's not good."
* * *
(They TRUDGE
towards Rivendell, Frodo has lots of NIGHTMARES
and Sam WHINES.)
* * *
Pippin: "Arrgh! Trolls!"
Strider: "Idiot:
- Family history;
- Broad daylight;
- Made of stone;
- Bird's nest behind ear."
* * *
Strider: "Glorfindel!"
(They put Frodo on Glorfindel's horse and get
AMBUSHED by the BLACK RIDERS. Glorfindel's horse
ESCAPES and the BLACK RIDERS are WASHED away by
the RIVER. Frodo FAINTS.)