(In Minas Tirith, Éowyn is a walking cloud of DEPRESSION because Aragorn isn't INTERESTED. Faramir, on the other hand, most definitely IS. When the Eagles drop by and say that Sauron, enemy of the Free People of Middle Earth, has KICKED IT and Aragorn has TRIUMPHED, everyone is IMPRESSED. Except for Éowyn, who isn't. Faramir talks some SENSE into her and surprisingly she AGREES that they should get HITCHED. Aragorn comes back, is crowned KING, plants a TREE and Elrond turns up. Aragorn and Arwen also get HITCHED.)
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Tags: depressed, dead, impressed, marriage, king, tree

(Pippin FINDS out that he is pretty much ornamental, gets DECKED out in the ARMOUR of the Tower Guard and is given a TEMPORARY job as Denethor's esquire, but becomes WORRIED when he is TOLD that one of his DUTIES is to SING. Gandalf RESCUES Faramir from the BLACK RIDERS and everyone is HAPPY to see Faramir ALIVE. Except for Denethor, who isn't.)

Faramir: "I say, last time I was here there weren't any Hobbits in the Tower Guard."

Gandalf: "New ornament."

(Gandalf is WORRIED that Frodo went to Cirith Ungol and Denethor WHINES about Faramir being ALIVE rather than Boromir.)

Faramir: "Hey, you sent him on that mission."

Denethor: "I wish I hadn't. You're useless - at least Boromir would have bought me a nice shiny Ring."

Gandalf: "Don't be a prat."

* * *

(Everyone feels SORRY for Faramir but no-one COMPLAINS when he gets sent to the FRONT (the Fields of Pelennor). NEWS arrives that Faramir is FIGHTING a lost CAUSE because the Lord of the NAZGÛL is on a ROLL and Gandalf RIDES off to HELP Faramir. It doesn't do much GOOD and the Men of Gondor get their ARSES KICKED. Faramir is INJURED and more of the MORDOR army turns up.)

Gandalf: "There's no way the Riders of Rohan can help now. We've had it."

* * *

(The army of MORDOR catapult DEAD-HEADS into the first circle of the City; Denethor is a walking CLOUD of DEPRESSION and REFUSES to leave his SON'S room. He DECIDES to KILL himself and Faramir but Pippin shows some INITIATIVE and RUNS off to FIND Gandalf. The Enemy BUSTS through the Gate and the Lord of the NAZGÛL gloats.)

Lord of the Nazgûl: "Ha ha, I win, you lose! Tee hee!"

(Gandalf is talking TOUGH when the Riders of Rohan FINALLY arrive.)

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Tags: worried, singing, rescued, black rider, happy, alive, whining, prat, fighting, Mordor, depressed, decision

(The Riders of Rohan reach Dunharrow and Théoden INSISTS on joining the EXPEDITION. They get NEWS of Gandalf and a BLACK RIDER and Éwoyn is still UNHAPPY about Aragorn taking the Paths of the Dead.)

Éomer: "We've had it."

(Merry is CONFUSED about why everyone is so UPSET, ASKS about the Paths of the Dead and FINALLY gets a TASTE of how it FEELS not to get a STRAIGHT ANSWER.)

* * *

(Théoden RECIEVES the Red Arrow from Gondor and TELLS the messenger (Hirgon) that it will take a WEEK for the Riders of Rohan to come Gondor's RESCUE.)

Hirgon: "We're all going to be dead by then - still you might give the Orcs and Southerners a nasty shock."

Théoden: "True, true."

* * *

(Merry is ANNOYED at the idea of being left BEHIND, falls ASLEEP and wakes up to FIND that DARKNESS has FLOWED out of MORDOR [don't ask]. Théoden ORDERS the Muster of Rohan; Merry gets some ARMOUR and the Riders of Rohan SING. Merry is ORDERED to stay with Éowyn, but a Rider (Dernhelm) has a PROVERB to SHARE and OFFERS to HIDE him under his CLOAK [don't ask] and take him to war.)

Merry: "Yippee!"

(Dernhelm's horse isn't too BOTHERED about the extra WEIGHT because Dernhelm is SMALLER than MOST. As they get CLOSER to Gondor, everyone gets DEPRESSED.)

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Tags: insistence, black rider, confusion, straight answer, annoyance, Mordor, don't ask, singing, proverbs, depressed