Appendix F-II: On Translation
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Appendix F-I: The Languages and Peoples of the Third-Age
Of the Elves
(There are TWO
types of Elven language:
- High-elven - insanely FANCY, not used MUCH.
- Grey-elven - just FANCY, used a LOT.)
Of Men
(The Common Speech is basically MAN-MADE but
different races have their OWN languages:
- Númenoreans - spoke Grey-elven, Adûnaic and CREATED 'Westron'.
- Northeners - not too SURE; Common Speech.
- Rohirrim - not too SURE; Common Speech.
- Wild Men - not too SURE; it's GUTTURAL, whatever it is.)
Of Hobbits
(They just
PLAGIARIZE other people's languages. CURRENTLY
they use the Common Speech.)
Of Other Races
(A SELECTION:
- Ents - not too SURE, but it's LONG-WINDED and UNPRONOUNCEABLE.
- Orcs - not too SURE; it's PLAGIARIZED, whatever it is; they also use the Common speech.
- The Black Speech - not too SURE, but we reckon Sauron MADE it UP.
- Trolls - not too SURE; PLAGIARIZED from Orcs, the Black Speech and the Common Speech.
- Dwarves - not too SURE, whatever it is; even THEY don't speak it [don't ask].)
Appendix E-II-i: The Fëanorian Letters
Appendix E-II: Writing
Appendix E-I: Pronunciation of Words and Names
Consonants
(An INCONCEIVABLE and CONVOLUTED list of how
to PRONOUNCE consonants.)
Vowels
Tolkien: "Add a 'y' to English
vowels and you're all set. There are a lot of
diphthongs and a couple of other grammatical
rules I've made up."
Stress
Tolkien: "It all depends on the
number of syllables."
Note
Tolkien: "This list does not
work for Dwarvish, Orkish, the Black Speech and
the speech of Rohan. Anybody except Elves,
really."
Appendix D: Shire Calendar
-
FOR USE IN ALL YEARS
-
(An UNFATHOMABLE and DIDACTIC list of months and days.)
-
The Calendars
-
(The Elves, Dúnedain and Hobbits all have their own CALENDARS. In a similar FASHION to their CREATORS, they are all very LONG-WINDED and INBRED. The only one of any IMPORTANCE is the Shire's.)
- Tolkien: "All this stuff is pretty irrelevant since in the novel I used normal names, dates, etc for all the thickies."
Appendix A-III: Durin's Folk
Tolkien: "If you want to know more about Dwarves and Dragons, read The Hobbit."
Gandalf: "If it weren't for me forcing Bilbo on the Dwarves, we'd have been screwed in Gondor. Who's your Daddy?"
(Gimli is the only Dwarf to really GET ON with an Elf (Legolas), when Aragorn DIES they SAIL to Valinor. Gimli only GETS IN because of Galadrial [don't ask].)
The Line of the Dwarves of
Erebor as it was invented by Gimli, Glóin's son
for King Elessar [that's Aragorn]
(A family-tree of UNWIELDY and INTERCHANGEABLE
names and dates.)
Appendix A-I-i: Númenor
Six of the Eldar and the Edain get HITCHED over the years:
- Lúthien Tinúviel and Beren
- Idril and Tuor
- Arwen and Aragorn.
- Lúthien (Eldar [= Elf]) and Beren (Edain [= Man]) have a SON, Dior and a DAUGHTER, Elwing.
- Idril (Eldar [= Elf]) and Tuor (Edain [= Man]) have a SON, Eärendil.
- Eärendil gets HITCHED to Elwing and OVERTHROWS Morgoth. They have two SONS, Elros and Elrond.)
(The Edain get their own PAD called Númenor; they live for a LONG time, but want MORE. Some KING or other with an UNPRONOUNCEABLE name tries to DEFEAT Sauron, who PLAYS up to the KING'S ego and turns the Númenoreans EVIL. R.I.P. Númenor. Elendil and his SONS, Isildur and Anárion, are really the only ones of IMPORTANCE in later Númenorean HISTORY. They LAND on Middle-earth and set up Arnor and Gondor. Elendil RULES the North, while his SONS RULE the South: they build a few CITIES bordering MORDOR and BELIEVE Sauron has SNUFFED it. They are WRONG. In the following war, the Last Alliance KICKS Sauron's ARSE and Isidur takes the One RING. R.I.P. the Second Age.)
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Appendix A-I: Annals of the Kings and Rulers
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