Book V, Chapter 1: Screwed Right Now
Ingold: "But it'll be finished in a minute! What about the Riders of Rohan - are they going to grace us with their presence or not?"
Gandalf: "Thanks to me they are - if I hadn't rescued them from certain death, then you'd be screwed right now. I'm going - and no nodding off, you hear?"
* * *
(They REACH Minas
Tirith; Pippin is AWED by the city, NO-ONE thinks
that SEEING Gandalf is a GOOD thing and Gandalf
TELLS Pippin not to mention ANYTHING about the
RING to Denethor (The Steward of Gondor). And to
keep quiet about Aragorn, because he knows that
EVERYONE will be IMPRESSED. Except for Denethor,
who won't be.)
* * *
Gandalf: "Hi, Denethor, how's it
going?"
Denethor: "Terrible. Where's the
person who saw Boromir die? Oh I wish I'd sent
Faramir instead!"
(Pippin offers Denethor his SWORD as PAYMENT
for Boromir's death.)
Denethor: "Wow! You may be short
but you've some got manners - even if you have
got a wierd accent! I like you, little man!"
(EGGED on by Gandalf, Pippin swears LOYALTY
to Gondor, becomes a soldier, and TELLS Denethor
about Boromir's death.)
Denethor: "I rule Gondor! Unless
the King turns up, that is."
Gandalf: "Just in case he does,
you'd better make sure that there's some kingdom
left, eh?"
* * *
(Pippin meets
Beregond (a GUARD) who TELLS him some PASSWORDS
and about the CUSTOMS of Gondor.)
Beregond: "Wow! You've got some
manners - even if you have got a wierd accent!"
* * *
(They visit
Shadowfax and Pippin gets treated like a PRINCE.
Beregond TELLS Pippin to FIND his son (Bergil)
and WATCH the Gate closing. A lot of allies
ARRIVE but not as many as HOPED for.)
Gandalf: "We're all going to
die."
Book III, Chapter 11: Brags About His Horse
(Merry explains why, taking the OPPORTUNITY to share a PROVERB. Pippin STEALS the Palantir from Gandalf and has a NASTY experience with one of the BLACK RIDERS/NAZGÛL [don't ask].)
Gandalf: "You're a real prat, do you know that?"
* * *
Aragorn: "Oi, that Palantir is a
family heirloom! Give it here!"
Gandalf: "Sure. But don't be to
eager to use it!"
Aragorn: "Who? Moi?"
(Gandalf takes the OPPORTUNITY to shares a
PROVERB with Aragorn; Théoden DECIDES to RIDE
back to Helm's Deep with Éomer, LEAVING the
majority of the Riders at Aragorn''s DISPOSAL.)
* * *
Gandalf: "Arrgh! Nazgûl/Black
Riders!"
(Gandalf RIDES off with Pippin and Merry
WHINES about being left BEHIND.)
Aragorn: "Idiot."
* * *
(Gandalf BRAGS
about his horse (Shadowfax), SINGS and goes off
on a very LONG -WINDED explanation about the
Palantir. Pippin is SURPRISED to find out that
they are going to Minas Tirith, not Helm's Deep,
and Shadowfax SPRINGS forward with FIRE flying
from his FEET [definitely don't ask].)
Book III, Chapter 4: A Very Long-Winded Story
Pippin: "Arrgh!"
* * *
(Treebeard takes
them to his HOME, they EAT and DRINK and
Treebeard SINGS. Later, he tells them a very
LONG-WINDED story about ENTWIVES and SINGS some
more. They go to the ENTMOOT. After two DAYS the
Ents decide to OVERTHROW Saruman.)
Book I, Chapter 3: More Eating And Drinking
(He isn't. Mostly LONG-WINDED stuff involving EATING happens. They meet a BLACK RIDER.)
Frodo: "I don't like the look of this."
(They hide, Frodo is TEMPTED by the RING and then the BLACK RIDER leaves. More EATING and SINGING occurs.)
* * *
Sam: "Elves! Yay!"
Elves: "Oooh, Hobbits!"
Frodo: "Can we tag along with
you?"
Elves: "Nope."
Frodo: "But we're being chased
by Black Riders."
Gildor: "Oh all right. Come on
then."
(They EAT, make MERRY [don't ask] and the
Elves refuse to give Frodo a STRAIGHT ANSWER.
Then they fall asleep and the Elves
scarper.)