Book IV, Chapter 1: Slobbers Over Frodo
Sam: "Join the Company they said, see the world they said... Eek! That bog smells!"
Frodo: "Whatever."
(Frodo WHINES about going to MORDOR and Sam WHINES about only having lembas to EAT. They attempt to CLIMB down the CLIFF, see a BLACK RIDER and finally get down the CLIFF, thanks to Sam's ROPE - which, it turns out, is MAGICAL and COMES when Sam CALLS it.)
* * *
Gollum: "Where'ss my Preciouss?"
[Repeat many times for full effect - double 's'
vital.]
(Sam JUMPS on him, nearly gets STRANGLED and
Frodo THEATENS to cut Gollum's THROAT.)
Gollum: "I'm jusst lonely!"
Frodo: "Whatever. Take us to
Mordor or die!"
Gollum: "Arrgh! No! No!"
(He AGREES to take them anyway - after
STAGING a small ESCAPE attempt. Gollum PROMISES
not to try anything again, SLOBBERS over Frodo
and they TRUDGE towards MORDOR.)
Book III, Chapter 4: A Very Long-Winded Story
Pippin: "Arrgh!"
* * *
(Treebeard takes
them to his HOME, they EAT and DRINK and
Treebeard SINGS. Later, he tells them a very
LONG-WINDED story about ENTWIVES and SINGS some
more. They go to the ENTMOOT. After two DAYS the
Ents decide to OVERTHROW Saruman.)
Book III, Chapter 3: Whines… Whined… Whines
Éomer: "The Orcs are dead and no-one else was with them, but have these horses and see for yourselves."
(Gimli WHINES about having to ride a horse and the RIDERS OF ROHAN leave. Later, the gang receive a strange VISITATION from an OLD man and their horses DISAPPEAR. Gimli, having WHINED about riding a horse, now WHINES about the LACK of horses.)
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Book III, Chapter 2: Bicker Amongst Themselves
Book III, Chapter 1: Like A Pin-Cushion
Legolas: "Ooops."
(They send Boromir's BODY downstream in a BOAT and Legolas and Aragorn take turns SINGING. After some SOUL-SEARCHING they follow the Orcs and Aragorn SPRINGS forward like a DEER [definitely don't ask].)
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Book II, Chapter 10: No Idea What To Do
Frodo: "I haven't got a clue either. I'm off to think."
* * *
(Boromir finds
Frodo in the WOODS, loses it TOTALLY, tries to
take the RING and Frodo RUNS away. He NEARLY lets
Sauron DISCOVER him, before HEADING for the
BOATS.)
* * *
Aragorn: "Have you been annoying
Frodo, Boromir?"
Boromir: "That and shouting. He
put the Ring on and scarpered."
Aragorn: "Idiot."
* * *
(Everyone goes
LOOKING for Frodo. SHOCKINGLY, Sam is the ONLY
one who checks the BOATS. He nearly DROWNS, then
Frodo and he head out towards MORDOR.)